So here I am in beautiful Atlanta, GA visiting family for Thanksgiving. It’s 2:03 eastern, meaning it’s 11:03 my time. I already went to bed, woke up 6 hours later, and am now wide awake. Thank you time zone change. After a 12 hour travel day, one layover, one flight delay, and 3 pints of beer I’m finally reaching the end of the longest day ever. Before retiring for the second time tonight, I leave you with 3 thoughts:
1) what’s with automatic soap dispensers and sink faucets? It seems like no matter how much you wave your hand under them they won’t turn on. And if you’re lucky and they do work, you’re only going to get 2 seconds of water and enough soap to clean your fingernail. Eff you, airport bathrooms.
2) why is everyone afraid of the new TSA policy? So they touch you… Big deal. It’s not like were in 1st grade anymore. Easy fix: buy me dinner and we’ll call it even. And the whole body scan craze is just ugly people being afraid that some TSA dude updates his Facebook status with “I’d hate to be this guy [insert photo of your small genitals].” This is the 21st century people; there’s pictures of you naked all over the internet by now. Get over it.
3) why do they pronounce the letter Z as “zed” in Britain, instead of the correct way, “zee?” Just cuz a bunch of untrained farmers and stinky Frenchies slapped your country silly almost 3 centuries ago doesn’t mean you have to do everything opposite of us, like drive on the left side of the street, talk with funny accents, or use an outlandish Metric system instead of the superior Standard system. Can’t we just put the past behind us and coexist? If only the rest of the world would abandon their customs for ours… A boy can only dream.
I apologize ahead of time for those I may have offended with this long and pointless post; I didn’t mean to insult airport restrooms. I know they mean well…